Nicole Kidman popped out a girl


Nicole is now hopefully free from the pregnancy
hormones that presumably made her choose this outfit

Seemingly the least maternal woman in showbiz, Nicole Kidman, has had a baby girl.  That was one weird pregnancy.  There was no bump for about seven months, then one came from nowhere and now the baby is here!

And they called her… Sunday Rose Kidman Urban.  When I typed that out the first time I put “Road” instead of “Rose,” probably because of the ‘Urban’ – but also because I wouldn’t put it past celebs to give their kids a name as stupid as that. 

Hmm, I’ve always liked Rose, but Sunday?  Aww hell no… all the kids at school are going to be singing: “Easy like Sunday morning” at her.  Poor Sunday.  Reputation ruined already.

But congratulations to Nicole and Keith.  After a miscarriage and rumours of her adopted children snubbing her for creepy step mum Katie Holmes, I hope she finds maternal bliss with her newborn.

A press conference for Angelina’s twins


Updated: What next, a press conference when she farts?

I know this blog is light hearted and bitchy, but upon hearing that Angelina Jolie’s doctor is giving a press conference later today, I’m worried.

Celebrities don’t give press conferences to simply announce a birth do they?  Usually it’s just a press statement, on a piece of paper.

I’ve read rumours on the grapevine that one of her twins, a girl, has been monitored throughout the pregnancy because she has a heart condition. This would explain why we haven’t seen much of Angelina recently.

Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that Angelina and her babies are ok.  As I said before, I love this woman.  She’s done so much for children around the world, so it would be tragic if anything were to happen to one of her own.

*Update*

The press conference was just to say that everything is ok, and Angelina is resting in hospital. 

Now, either Angelina has a doctor who fancied basking in some press attention or she has some serious notions of self grandeur.  I mean yeah, she’s Angelina Jolie, but a whole press conference just to state that?  Lame.

Well… I guess you saw my caring side up there… I… er… the bitching will commence! 

The babies on TV are going to get me…

Above is an advert that is doing the rounds in the UK, for baby formula.  It shows babies giggling!  How cute!

Ok, am I the only person that finds these babies CREEPY AS FUCK? (Had to do a ‘Kanye capslocking’ there for added emphasis.)

I’m sorry, I’m sure they’re are lovely and cute really, but whenever the advert comes on and the first baby starts to laugh I jump out of my skin, thinking: “Argh, what’s that?”

Then it goes onto the second blued-eyed babe who is actually quite sweet and I almost let myself go “awww”… then the third one comes on and I’m screaming: “EVIL!!!”

Am I the only one who sees this?

Ooooh, Britain’s Next Top Model has started.  Why write about evil babies and milk formula when I can be drinking a glass bottle of wine while watching evil teenage girls clawing one anothers eyes out?