Is this thing still on?

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Well, it’s been a while. Four and a half years, to be exact.

When I first started this blog, I was fresh out of university, working my first ever journalism job in Derbyshire and writing under the pseudonym notontheguestlist. And things have changed a bit since then, as you’d expect them to over a decade.

A decade. Blimey.

So, I’m now a 30-something (who just about makes the dreaded Millennial bracket) living in London and working in television and have somehow today found myself tinkering with my WordPress account, changing the look of this blog and deciding to attempt to breathe some new life into it.

So why have I decided to come back after a five-year silence, this time without the anonymity and at a time when everything anyone says online is more open to scrutiny and criticism than ever?

Well, first of all, it’s not as though I’m Logan Paul. Thank god. And I like making people laugh, which is something I’ve been told I used to achieve here. Plus, it’s become apparent over the last few years that I have a thick skin when it comes to the internet – which is lucky because I’m rather prone to making a bit of a tit of myself on it.

Let me give you just a couple of examples.

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Being a girl is hard

Call me Captain Obvious, but I really have only recently realised that being a girl is bloody hard work.

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I’m not even referring to anything to do with periods, childbirth, body image or wage inequality. Na. Forget all the bleeding and hormones and cushiony bits of our bodies and the fact that we still live in a world where a female CEO gives us an involuntary jab of the warm and fuzzies because one of our kind has been ‘given a chance’.

Actually, my issue with being a girl is trying to bloody look like one.

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Lourdes is just like any other teenager

Well,  okay – the daughter of Madonna isn’t quite your average 13 year old.

For a start, Madonna’s her mum.  So if you believe everything you read she was never allowed to watch TV or eat sweets growing up and she’s supposed to be exceptionally clever with a wise-beyond-her-years head for business and fashion.

Oh, and she’s drop-dead-gorgeous.

So, when I heard she’s got her own fashion line and had started up a blog I wondered what on earth this exceptionally savvy young creature with the unconventional upbringing would convey to the world.

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Gemma Arterton looks like a princess (of Persia)

It’s so easy to look at pictures of celebs, and think “wow they look really good” but it’s so much more exciting when it’s someone you can relate to, like Gemma Arterton.

I like a girl who does it for the Brits, without resorting to draping bits of material off their size zero limbs or copying the all-American blonde and bronzed look, or trying too hard to be different.

That’s why I like Gemma. She is what she is and she’s stunning while doing what she does. She looks healthy and happy and like a classic princess in that gown.

It takes me back to when I was a little girl and wanted to float about in big dresses with a crown on my head, like the Disney princesses.